Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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