Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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