chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
