Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
