office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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