Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
