Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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