I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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