Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
