if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
