a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
