I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
