remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
