I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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