She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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