How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
