He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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