i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
