420 ftw
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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