there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
