Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
