the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
