It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
