those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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