Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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