We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
