i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Randomize
