I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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