i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
