She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
