Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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