4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
