11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
