take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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