come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
