she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
