Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I fill condoms, not promises.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
