I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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