If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
