I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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