Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
