he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
