the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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