we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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