In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
