Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
