we have officially lost it.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
