There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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