new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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