Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
